Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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