I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
