..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
