Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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