are you still at the devil's house?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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