If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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