this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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