What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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