everyone is single if you try hard enough
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize