you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
