is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
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