xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the day after is always just damage control
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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