just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I came so hard my ears popped.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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