Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
