I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
