I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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