i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Mom said you looked used
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
