I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
