She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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