pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
