Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize