whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
