She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
