you would pick up someone in the library
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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