I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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