His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
