other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
