tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
