don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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