just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's official drugs can't kill me
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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