My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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