So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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