I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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