His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
