I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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