I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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