do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
