In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
