So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
