I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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