okay pat passed out under dana's car
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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