Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
