therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
