at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
how do flat chested girls get laid?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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