well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
