I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
