imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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