so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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