think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize