So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
