do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
