You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
