i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
