oh god the rape fog is back!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
