yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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