HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
