Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
