why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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