Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
