I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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