Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
