How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
