Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize