I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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