i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
